Crag
walked in Dionne’s front door. He
explored the house as usual. Confinement
didn’t agree with him, but he understood the need. He heard sounds of battle coming from the
room of screens as he called it.
Growling, he moved quickly to the room ready to take on whatever danger
he found.
He
found instead, Andre sitting with four other young human males and one human
female. They sat on the soft chairs
around the room. Three of them sat on
the long soft chair. The fattest one sat
on the floor, stroking a tiny brush over something in his hand similar to how
Dionne painted her nails before work.
On
the larger screen in the center of the room along the wall facing the chairs,
Crag saw extraordinary action moves as someone who looked like an elf swung
around a beast resembling an elephant.
The elf shot arrows into the elephant riders then fired arrows into the
back of the elephant’s head.
“Shit! My mom’s boyfriend,” Andre said under his
breath to his friends.
Andre’s
friends saw Crag and immediately lost interest in the action.
“Dude!” The fat one on the floor said, standing as
fast as his bulk would allow.
Crag
expected adverse reactions to his appearance.
The humans of this world had limited experience with Orcs. He remembered the back story Dionne thought
of for him.
“Apologies,”
Crag said.
Andre
pressed a button on the apparatus in his hand.
The action and sound stopped on the large screen.
Andre’s
five friends stared. One turned on the
overhead light. Crag blinked the change of
light into his red irises. His brown
skin resembled Andre’s shade. Crags hair
grew stubbly on his head.
“I
am aware my appearance is unorthodox. I
have a severe under bite,” Crag said.
The
bulky male took a step toward Crag.
“Dude. You are huge.”
Crag
nodded. “Yes, I am larger than the
average human.”
“Crag,”
Andre said. “These are my friends.” Andre pointed around the room as he named his
friends.
Kermit
stood tall and thin. He had large eyes
behind glasses.
Wrench
wore a bandanna with black grease stains under his fingernails.
Fish
dressed bundles in an overcoat with long sleeves and a hood. He proclaimed to always be cold.
Rant,
the female, stood about half as tall as Crag.
She wore spiked pink and blue hair.
The
fat male, as Crag regarded him, had the name Minion due to his desire to paint
everyone’s figures before ‘Dungeons & Dragons.’
Minion
explained with a wet lisp. “D&D is a
game where you and a group of friends fight monsters and have adventures in a
fantasy land.”
“Hrm.” Crag considered. Having actually fought monsters in his life,
he wasn’t so far impressed. “Your names
are not like most human names.”
Minion
said, “Well, Crag isn’t exactly heard every day. Is it Crag like the rock?”
Crag
said, “Yes, I am Crag of the Rock–.”
He
stopped himself before saying his name as an orc chief would. “Crag Rockshadow, is my name.”
“That
sounds like an orc name,” Rant said.
“Crag, chieftain of the Rock Shadow clan.”
Crag
smiled subtly. “I am merely possessed of
an odd human name. Where do yours come
from?”
Kermit
said, “They come from our D&D characters, conveniently based on
ourselves. Kind of amplified versions of
ourselves. For example, I took my name
from Kermit the Frog and my character is a green skinned wood elf bard.”
Crag
nodded. He recalled a similar elf he may
or may not have slain in battle.
Wrench
said, “My character is a gnome inventor.
He doesn’t fight much, but is always building new contraptions for the
team to use. In my life, I work on
cars.”
Crag
noted the necessity of goblins and gnomes for machinery.
Fish
said, “My character is a merfolk rogue who is always cold at least outside of
water. So am I.” Fish chuckled.
Rant
said, “My character is a human paladin.
She has had to fight her way into a leadership position, but people
learn to respect her after they catch her sword or her overly wordy
explanations on various subjects like gods or monsters or whatever.”
Crag
resisted the urge to mention cleaving a paladin’s head in the battle before
being sent into this realm.
Andre
said, “My character is a Halfling ranger.
He wields a slingshot. He’s
pretty good. We call him, Andre the
Giant Killer as he’s taken down more than a few on his own.”
Crag
asked, “How does this relate to your real self?”
Andre
scrunched his body uncomfortably. “No
comment.”
Minion
said, “I’m a half-orc from a proud clan of warriors, but I’m a healer.”
Crag
growled. “You allow yourself to be
called Minion? An insult to your clan.”
Minion
didn’t back down. “Minion means
servant. I get most of my life’s
enjoyment from serving others. I am
graduating college as a psychologist. I
like to bring people to their healthy selves.
Also, my character has wicked damage dealing capabilities.”
“As
a proper orc should,” Crag replied.
“What
makes you the orc expert?” Rant asked accusingly.
Crag
wanted to tell the truth, but instead he stammered, “I-uh-have played other
games with orcs in them.”
“What
kinds of games?” Minion asked.
Crag
said slowly, “The-uh-Legend of-Torxania.
I played an orc chieftain. We
built a grand city and the beginnings of an enlightened civilization. The last battle I was able to engage was
against a powerful human wizard Set who sent me to another realm. I have been unable to return to my home world.”
“Intricate,”
Wrench said.
Fish
shivered. “You know, D&D is kind of
like the movie we are watching. The Lord
of the Rings. It’s the story of a war
between humans, elves, dwarves and hobbits against the dark forces of Saruman
and his legions of goblins, orcs and uruk-hai.”
“Do
you want to watch with us?” Rant asked.
“Certainly.” Crag sat down next to Fish’s chair.
Rant
changed the DVD’s from the one they had in the player for Fellowship of the
Ring disc 1. Andre asked, “What are you
thinking?”
Rant
turned. “It’s only right that Crag start
from the beginning. I think the best way
to welcome our new friend is with the whole saga. Plus he’s super cute. Anyone have a problem with that?”
Andre
grumbled in the corner of the room at first, but after a half hour he retook
his seat and allowed himself to be engrossed with his friends.
Nearly
twelve hours later the last ending closed the third movie. A transfixed Crag shook himself out of his
stupor. “That was a remarkable tale. I did not appreciate the way the orcs were
portrayed or treated by the uruk-hai.
Let one of those fools lay a hand on me and he would pull back a stump.”
Crag
looked at his new friends and coughed.
“So, this is what Dungeons & Dragons is like?”
Wrench
said, “Essentially. Except, you imagine
the battles as you fight them.”
Crag
nodded. “I understand. I imagine battle quite a lot. Let us play.”
Andre
stood and stretched. “Not tonight. I think all of us need to get some sleep.”
Fish,
Wrench, Kermit and Minion took their leave.
Crag sat next to Fish’s former chair and Andre sat close to Rant. Andre put one of his hands over Rant’s
knee. She didn’t brush it away.
“Say
Crag,” Andre started. “Could you go see
where my mom is?”
Crag
replied, “She is almost done with her work for the evening.”
Andre
said, “She might appreciate someone to escort her home.”
“Arnie
will be using his horseless carriage for her.”
Andre
insisted. “Really Crag. Isn’t there somewhere else you want to
be?” Andre made a couple concerted head
jerks away. Rant giggled.
Crag
sniffed the air and understood. “Very
well. You wish to mate with the girl
before your mother returns.” Rant
giggled harder. Crag stood. “May your pups be strong and wise.”
Rant
burst out laughing, holding her stomach.
Andre’s skin darkened in embarrassment.
Crag
walked out and closed the door.
Rant
sat back up, laughter still spasming her.
“So, you wish to mate me? Sounds
hot.” Rant mounted Andre and pushed him
into the couch. “No kids… pups, though,
no matter how strong or wise.”
Andre
lost all contempt for Crag in Rant’s embrace.